Mission Statement

We are compelled to act in principled accordance with the divine randomtivity pulling our brethren to act as apes in conformist metropolis. Most people of the world think about table manners while we think about ways to add birth control to your minestrone soup. Nothing against the unenlightened ones, but you don’t know what it is like to drink water as a sport. You could not possibly comprehend the magnitude of our significance, I can’t even begin to explain the joy of the CAST. That is why we have this blog; even though we could never put into so many words what we are, we can show what we do. Hopefully even the man with a stick up his anus will gain a clearer sense of the CAST.

We all dance about above clear glass, we throw things undefined by society, but most importantly we always end up in a situation we have escaped by means of our speedy nature. Remember, we are also crazy. Never forget this, in fact, anyone associated with the CAST ought to think about his or her own craziness more than sex. There I said it.
Anything above mentioned, or below bellowed is either wrong by decree of the gerbil people, or written in stone in a museum from the future. Eyeballs may be poked harder than your face is loud. Don’t talk back, ever!

The Crazy Adventure Speed Team (CAST) was founded by Brandon Eisenberg and Amy Patten sometime during high school. In an act of utter brilliance Amy used her new cell phone to call Brandon. This prompted a speedy response; prompting a prompt action prompt. After recruiting a number of Jehovah’s witnesses, Kent DZ, El Voce , B, MC Get the Money, The Peter V, Jewish Natan, Fat Tony and others joined on the Cast’s missions. We cannot speak of any of these missions here, but rest assured we will post all missions on the blog.


We are not simply saying randomness has something to do with god, and we stand by its awsome force at attention. We let the random lead us to our own salvation.