Far gone are the days when Marylin Manson or Evil Dead were thought to instigate the evil hearts in teenagers and those prone to influence. Now we know that a film can have a real impact on the lives of all humans. The world has now finally felt real pains directly related to the entertainment industry. "Mamma Mia," the new hit movie based on the Broadway hit based on hit Abba songs is quickly decreasing the number of males in the world. As reported by BBC world news, in the last three weeks alone, close to one percent of the male population has committed suicide. These suicides are directly related to "Mamma Mia."
John Brosnan, lead researcher for the center for population control studies, spoke to the BBC "These hysterical women come home from the movie all hoped up on estrogen and bad music can't stop repeating what they heard at the cinema. They meet their husband's or boyfriends and can't stop singing the songs they heard. The result is catastrophic. Something like nothing we could have ever predicted. These men, the men that have to endure hours of constant Abba lose any grip of reality. It is only a matter of time before they walk off a cliff or in front of a car or cut each ear off with a machete until they bleed to death. The number of suicides are increasing by the day... increasing exponentially. Abba might well be the death of our whole civilization if we don't quash the problem immediately."
INTERPOL has begun their investigation into the matter. The producer and cast of "Mamma Mia" have been brought in for questioning. Many theaters including Brenden and Cinemark have voluntarily taken the movie off their screens. George W. Bush is scheduled to meet with a slew of world leaders from all different countries to come to an agreement to end this problem. More on this issue as it developes.
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